“In the Mi’kmaq world, all things have their own unique spirit. The trees, the water, the birds, the animals, and our children all share equally in the Great Scheme. Having their own individuality, these creations must learn their place in the world through their interaction with it and the guidance of their elders.

In the daily lives of Mi’kmaq, children become part of the adult world by being an active listener and participant in it. They are included in all activities of the community, seen at all social functions. Children are encouraged to search, explore and discover their world.

Often we are accused of not disciplining our children, but discipline in Mi’kmaq society is different than in the dominant society in methods and practice. We use more indirect methods than direct teaching. We would rather encourage the child to observe, explore, and make judgements using their observations to reach a conclusion. In cases where a wrong has been done to another either another child or a family by a child, restitution must be made by that child. In this way the child is very much aware of this wrong doings and usually will never forget that incident or the events that led up to it.”

– Dr. Murdena Marshall, B.Ed., Ed.M.

Traditional Mi’kmaw parenting focuses on community, shared caregiving, and connection to the land. As a collective society, the Mi’kmaq value consensus, group harmony, cohesion, and interdependence. For most, family is not so much about biological ties, but rather the bigger the family and circle of love, the better. There is emphasis on relatedness—sharing one’s happiness, losses, and successes, with family, friends, community members and Elders.

In Indigenous cultures, traditional parenting creates a nurturing environment, appropriate for child development by utilizing the many relationships that exist through the family, extended family, and other members of the community. Many Indigenous mothers believe that other caregivers in their community could be just as capable and would be just as attentive to their child’s needs if they were required to do so.

Indigenous people have experienced historical and intergenerational trauma in Canada for decades, even centuries. Parenting ability may have been affected by these traumas and particularly, by the impact of residential schools. However, healing from these horrific impacts in history will not be achieved by the removal of children from their home and communities to be placed in the care of individuals with no ties to the child, family, community, or culture. When an Indigenous child needs to be removed from their parents’ care, the child should be placed in the care of family, friends or community members who understand their worldview, traditions, language, and practices; individuals who see the world through the same cultural lens, and can provide the care and nurturing that the child needs.

The following stories are from Residential School survivors drawn from the Our Stories…Our Strength  video collection by the Legacy of Hope Foundation. These stories help tell the painful truth of how intergenerational trauma has impacted parenting for Indigenous peoples. We would like to acknowledge their courage and strength by telling their stories.